Fist

The only thing worse than being at the receiving end of a lifetime of anguish is knowing that you deserve it.

And it's in rationality that you find these things. You see the glaring mistakes, and the regret towards the past, but it's totally irrational. But it's rational.

I would say that I wish I would've done better, but I know that I couldn't have. I tried overly hard just to become the lackluster, emptied thing that I am today. But knowing that it rests on the shoulders of more selfish people, or knowing that I have risen above the things that keep people at a low, dull hum... it's kind of pointless when you also see how the divide will always be there. And after a point, the division itself becomes a willful endeavor, taking on my own charge instead of its maker's; but I guess that would also be me.

It's strange to feel yourself sliding down when you've gotten what descent really felt like. Not because I'm at the top, but because I'm at the bottom.